Tuesday, June 14, 2011

this song and these words have been resonating in me this week. 

there will come a time, you'll see
with no more tears
where love will not break your heart
but dismiss your fears
get over your hill 
and see what you find there
with grace in your heart 
and flowers in your hair

i am in a constant state of renewal 
and also reworking and reinventing
[and of confusing myself]
and of questioning my choice
past and present
and of seeking peace
and of craving patience
and of reaching for the joy i once saw. 

with grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

always a new cloud

photo at tybee. one of laura's dad's creations

… another few days gone off forever. Yes, yes, yes, & where do they go? & who collects them all. I’m watching these incredibly painterly, puffy pink clouds float overhead & off over the water. Where do they go? There are rusted boats bound for China, hungry seagulls leaving steampipes, the mindless tide in search of its zenith. But where does the time go when it’s gone? For now, all these beautiful things out the window seem to have such an overwhelming weight, it’s difficult to imagine them all floating away for the rest of time. Though I know they are. On the other hand, there are always new clouds coming into view, new boats, new birds, new tides. I see the pattern in myself too. For sometimes the spirits are so high, & sometimes they drag so low… but always there are spirits. Thankfully. 
-joshua heineman of CursiveBuildings

i love these words. 

ever have the fear of making your own choices
fear of the reality that you are grown and decide your next steps
fear of picking out, of opting for 
[the secret fear of settling for]
the wrong, incorrect, illogical, irreversable 

ever need to be reminded that your choices will not be wrong
that you just need to move forward
that you just need to follow your heart [and your clouds] 
because your fears are screaming louder than everything else

life is full of decisions, of choices
and there is great beauty in that
and awesome freedom
and my fears are my insecurities
which sometimes cause me to freeze
but not this time
i'm choosing choices
next steps
future plans
there is comfort in these words:

there are always new cloud coming into view, new boats, new birds new tides.