Tuesday, March 27, 2012

it's been a while.
my life, as life in general goes, has been in a constant state of change and movement.
mostly good, positive movement.
movement in many ways.

change is good. necessary. beautiful.
yet change is also hard. challenging. painful.

there is always a part of big change that takes leaving something behind.  whether it be part of the person you once were, the memories, the stillness.
change puts fear in me.  and i take it in. soak in it during the transition. because that is the only way i know how to deal with it.  the only way i know how to not long for it afterwards.  i must soak. absorb. drench my soul in all that once was in order to be prepared and be entirely whole and present for the whatever the future may hold.

in this change, i have realized that my way of dealing with my change is difficult to watch from the outside at times.

perspective has forced me to dig in and figure out why i do what i do. why certain things are difficult for my heart. why i make certain things difficult.

growth is eminent.
change is beauty.
i am understanding.

more & more.