Wednesday, May 21, 2008

people steal and people get married.

so this weekend, one of my best friends got married. it was amazing and beautiful to be apart of celebrating such an incredible relationship and to be able to see God so clearly in each step that they have taken.  seriously.  an honor to know them. i love the way that life plays out beautifully.  it was a weekend of best friends, laughter, and a whole lot of love. 

yet there was a downside to the fairy tale weekend...
thursday night, after a wonderful dinner at the cheesecake factory, the bride-to-be and all of her bridesmaids headed to cafe intermezzo. 
having all of our stuff in our cars for the entire weekend caused us to be great targets for robbery. 
we walk out to our cars and see two broken windows. 
missing items:
my macbook
two handbags
my ipod
all my jewelry
journal from the past four months
season one of the office
computer cords and such
gift cards
and all kinds of other sentimental stuff

all my photos. my music. my art projects. gone.  the irreplaceable last four months of life as it was recorded by hand or via digital media. gone. 
my life as far as technology goes. gone. 

this blog will probably be lacking for a while. 
i am without computer indefinitely. 
my digital life is really non-existent at this point.  
my life is all paper now. yet the paper has kind  of lost it's glamour. 
i'm feeling a bit lost to say the least. 

Saturday, May 10, 2008

deep summer is where laziness meets productivity.

while i enjoy new beginnings, list of projects, and goals, summer also holds this great ability for laziness.  like it's asking me to wake up in the morning, get some coffee, after reading the paper and breathing in the summer air, sit on the couch, turn the tv to mtv and/or vh1 and just watch music videos.  watch trash. catch up on all the real world episodes you've missed while you were studying, working, or heaven forbid playing outside.  but really, there is something that just coerces me to sit there in my pjs all day watching stuff i don't care about.  

i've learned too that even though i tend to believe that these so-called "music" channels no longer show videos, if you watch for an extended period of time, you will catch at least two.

all of this to say, i still really have no idea why i do this.  maybe it has something to do with the fact that i can and for the past year plus, i couldn't.  whatever the reason, i do it.  and...i kinda hate it.  

but summer, the good season that it is, never really makes me feel bad about it.  summer just pats me on the back at the end of the day, as if to say, "well done. you fulfilled everything i had planned for you today. you soaked in enough mind-numbing american trash for all you missed in the past year. you can check out that list of new projects and accomplish something tomorrow."

Sunday, May 4, 2008

i'm making a mess.

while life takes its sweet little twists and turns, i am still comforted by slight nuances and gems that fall in the most unpredicted places. 

cool summer nights. a cuddly cat. pansies planted by my dad. a good glass of wine, a big sister that pulls through for once. old friends that never change. good books with lines that hold meaning.  basil plants. enjoyable chord progressions. grandmas learning about lip rings. porches. great ideas.

"i can't imagine anything but music that could have brought about this alchemy. maybe it's because music is about as physical as it gets: your essential rhythm is your heartbeat; your essential sound, the breath.  we're walking temples of noise, and when you add tender hearts to this mix, it somehow lets us meet in places we couldn't get to any other way. "
-anne lamott, traveling mercies

Thursday, May 1, 2008

your best suit and dress

we were driving around running errands the other day, listening to death cab. 
listening to "the new year", discussing how it's one of our favorites.
 then we hear
 "i wish the world was flat like the old days. you could travel just by folding a map."
 this conversation ensued:

mel: what a great discovery.
me: music? death cab? 
mel: no. the fact that the world isn't flat.
(short pause)
mel: i think it might be the best discovery yet.

i love melanie. 

so close.

summer is almost here.

start again

dearest april, 

thank you for bringing me out of the funk. 
your friends that came before you were not really cutting it, but you, you came and saved the day. 
you made us laugh and cry and sit on the porch and breathe in life.
you brought us flowers and storms and joy again. 
you were made for new growth.
you pulled out all the stops. 
your efforts are truly appreciated.

thanks for showing us what 2008 can be. i had lost hope for a little while. 

i knew i always liked you. 

i'll miss you. come back soon.
your friend,