the story of life as it goes has ups and downs. the lows must be there to prove there are highs.
[the shadow proves the sunshine]
the slight deviation in life proves movement and growth.
the steep falls or lifts can be rough.
hitting the bottom can hurt.
it is not all a fun roller coaster, but can be a strong storm in a small dingy with the feeling that drowning is eminent. there is that feeling that we will get through and see the upturn once again--because we always do. but that is not the most comforting idea. while the fall might have been quick, the climb might be slow, a slight incline that might even be difficult to feel or notice at all, until you can look back.
and life, life as of late, has felt like a steady rocket to the bottom. a rut. a funk. a bit all inexplicable. the transition has let me empty. my heart expanded and left alone. once again. a constant learning process of course. but a painful one. the feeling of falling apart. a concoction of things that have left me here to quiet myself and find my base, my feet on the ground to begin anew once again.

..from october 22, 2009..