it cost so much to be a full human being

"yesterday i met a whole man. it is a rare experience, but always an illuminating and ennobling one. it costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment, or the courage, to pay the price. one has to abandon altogether the search for security, and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. one has to embrace the world like a lover, and yet demand no easy return of love. one has to accept pain as a condition of existence. one has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. one needs a will stubborn in conflict but apt always to the total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying."

- morris west, the shoes of a fisherman


love the power in this. 
found here

i need a lifestyle upgrade.

 

i need to get better at so many things right now, i'm overwhelmed.
does anyone else ever feel like that?

things and things

things i can't get enough of at this point in time include but are not limited to:

hellogiggles

        

pinterest! duh. follow me

            







also...
reality tv. its like i would much rather get overly involved in people's lives on tv than make real life decisions for myself.  its a bit avoidant, i admit, but its working for me right now

lykke li
and the decemberists

hot black coffee and nice earthy teas

                                                                                                   sleeping way too late

re-reading malcolm gladwell. he inspires me to think more.


also, my apartment cannot seem to keep itself together.
 i would think that you might walk in and say to yourself, "man! i bet she's working on something really great right now.  i can't wait to see this project/experiment/writing masterpiece."  false.
things are just a mess.
you would say that because there is just stuff all over the place. like i'm too wrapped up inside my brain to put stuff where it goes.

i keep toying with the idea of moving or not and so i can't seem to get comfortable in my space.
one of my least favorite things is to spend time doing something just to undo it or redo it. so i'd rather live in limbo.
this is a bad idea, everyone.

just saw this video. its real.  i think everyone can relate in one way or the other. 

whether its death, or a breakup, or loss in anyway. watch this. be moved.