communication

i tend to over think things.

even blog posts. which concludes in me leaving handfuls of drafted posts never ever published.
out of fear.

and that's no way to live. especially on the internet.
so i've decided to revisit these drafts. edit them. post them. increase my blogness. but also, participate in an exercise to face my fears and force myself to really put my thoughts to word form.
so here goes.

i think this will be good.
...................................................................

i've been resonating with this lately.

are we a culture too obsessed with our technology or is this just how we communicate?

or is it making us totally and completely self involved?

do we live for the moments we can share on social media?  are we forgetting to live in the moments?

are we going to look back on our lives and feel like all we have to show is what's on the world wide web instead of the stories we have to tell?


but it could just be that this is the transition of communication and yes, we communicate so much by the emoticons we choose, the hashtags we right, the moments of life we instagram.

is that the life we want?  is it inevitable?

am i supposed to become okay with no eye contact and texting at the dinner table?

am i just being old fashioned?  is this my extreme nostalgia?  or should we really be asking ourselves these questions?

i feel that our communication skills are disintegrating before our eyes.  oh how often do i find myself stuck in a most awkward conversations because everyone forgot how to have a straight forward conversation.  we're more comfortable looking a computer screen or our phones instead of each other's faces.

why aren't we more upset about that?

and seriously how often have i found myself looking a facebook at the end of the night and finding out more intimate details about a person based on their status as opposed to the 4 hours i just spent sitting next to them at the bar.


so many questions. 

answers?

what's your space jam?

okay if you have the internet, you probably have seen this video. but maybe not.  and if that's so, you're welcome.

kid president is right.  the world needs you to stop being boring.  being boring is easy.
i needed this pep talk.

i needed to be reminded to get up and do something.
to start painting again.
to start acting like a great friend and lover of humans again.
to give the world a reason to dance
or at least be happy enough to dance myself.


it's everybody's duty to give the world a reason to dance.



i'm excited to find out what my space jam is.
and i'm excited to find out what yours is too.

so let's do it.

fire clay flour

i love clay.  i love baking.  i love the beauty that fire makes.  i love this video. 

forward motion

“I moved on because I had to, because pain gets heavy when you carry it far from its source, like a bucket of water hauled miles from a stream–it acquires a whole new value, which is the sum of itsprimary essence and your secondary investment.”

from Anthropology of an American Girl by Hilary Thayer Hamann

i speak much about transition.  many of my posts on this blog describe change, movement, and new beginnings.  i love this quote from hilary thayer hamann because it explains moving forward in such a beautiful way.  so often i find myself carrying burdens or heartbreak for so long, it almost feels as though there is a separate attachment altogether to the pain.  letting go. moving on. those are things i find hard.  i almost can handle the pain i didn't inflict on myself better than even the question or possible thought of what letting go of it might feel like.  but in this moment and in the moment i read that quote, i felt relief.  we are not meant to carry our burdens for so long and so far away from their sources.  we are supposed to lay them down.  let them lay.  walk away.  leaving with the knowledge and the strength that they gave us.  not forgetting where they came from.  no leaving behind the beauty.  walking tall with a new energy.  embracing the motion forward.  

that is a beauty of life. 

amen. 

lately

Here are some things i'm really into or just simply really enjoy lately:

1. VOTING! go vote. we all know you are super cool and hilarious and informed and have opinions and might bitch about the future, so go vote. it's important. it's your right. it's fun.  oh, and it's important.  like really important.

2. this article among others from thought catalog 

3. zoe muth. beautiful southern twang in her voice.

4. remembering how amazing this album is.




5. dreams of the future

6. remembering how talented and amazing my friends are.
    i.e. frankie

7. READING books! whoa.  currently: dearie, the omnivore's dilema, and big sur

honesty

i have decided that i want to be. to be more. to be more consistantly. to live more.

i know i sound like a silly twenty something that lives in asheville right now, but seriously.

i want to experience more. to stop living amongst judgement and fear, but more around the doers.

i want to read books and create and have real relationships and to feel confident and honest and myself.

that's all i've ever really wanted.  really.



i found this that i wrote on my birthday this year.


i find it rich and completely appropriate to celebrate, or at least acknowledge, that you have life, time passes, life is beautiful.  time is changing us.  growth is occurring.  things are becoming the past.  the future becoming the present.  the answers becoming clearer. the questions gaining more parts. 


i think it's honest.

i find myself inspired by my own thoughts a little over six months ago.
i think that is something to hold dear.

transformation

transformation happens in one fail swoop, but do we have the hearts and minds to pay attention?


a dear friend posed this to me a couple days ago while i was finalizing my goodbye/thank you letters to my previous bosses and simmering in my transition over espresso.   i find this question ominous and brilliant.  yet troubling, i suppose.

do we have the hearts and minds to pay attention?
do we?

is that why so many things seem to pass us by? because we are simply not paying attention.

my hope is that i will not be so adrift or so caught up that i cannot see the transformation in front of me.
let me be engaged in my world around me.
allowing my heart and my mind to fully absorb what it is that surrounds me.